Author: Lillian Meyer

You cannot lose if you do not quit.

The addict needs help, as it is almost impossible to get clean on their own. I don’t want to criticize “rehabs” (rehabilitation centres), in fact, they are great institutions in the right circumstances. However, while rehabs do a great job for certain people, they can be very costly, and if you do manage to get Government funding for treatment, you could be waiting months or even years for it. At the time of writing, the Government has already taken steps to cut addiction funding in the USA.

One of the main problems with rehabs is that the addict is often away from the people they love and they miss them, which can hold back their progress. Also because they are being taught various new techniques, an addict can change, but the family does not because it has no involvement – the family then still sees their loved one as an addict. You may think this sounds strange but the family needs to understand how this person has been changed, and also what to do to help them when they come home. I want to show you some techniques that are used to build an addict’s self-confidence and self-esteem, which in turn will give them the confidence to kick the habit. Or if your loved one has been to rehab and didn’t last, or just needs a refresher to stay on the right road.

I’m not going to say this will be easy because it won’t be- it’s going to be difficult for both you and the addict. Patience is the most important tool in your kit box. Be patient with each other. It’s probably going to be the most difficult thing either of you have ever had to deal with. There will be times when you both feel like giving up, but remember this:

“You cannot lose if you do not quit!”

I have a note on my wall with that statement as a constant reminder. Never lose the ambition to reach the ultimate goal, no matter how hard things get. I want to assure you that if your addict relapses it does not necessarily mean they are not interested in their road to recovery. They need to learn how to deal with relapse. In fact, in this book, both yourself and the addict will learn lots of lessons and new things about yourselves, which will make you both better people.

I won’t promise the addict will be clean within a week because there is no quick fix. It is about changing the mindset of an addict, which can take time. I also cannot tell you how long it will take, because different people have been addicted for different periods of time.

Recovery also depends on how receptive a person is to making a change. I suggest these techniques are carried out for at least 1 year, with on-going self-development. However it should not take 1 year to get clean, just to change the behaviours, habits and mindset of the person enough that they are not addicted to the substance they were using.

However I believe a person should not be labelled a recovering addict forever. When your mindset is changed, the former life can actually be left behind. Being labelled a recovering addict is not good for self-esteem or self-belief. If you have changed the mindset of someone, they should never look back.

Addict Relationship

What do they say “You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family!” That’s all very true and whether you’re the relative or partner of an addict (your loved one) or the addict yourself, it goes the same both ways. That’s why I’ve called this blog Addict Related. As a good relationship is important.

If you are the relative or partner of your loved one, I want you to understand that it is NOT your fault that they have an addiction to drugs or alcohol. I feel quite strongly about this message as I thought for many years I was the reason for my partner’s addiction. So I want you to understand that they do have a choice. It’s just that all addicts, whilst they are still “in that place” make the wrong choices because they don’t know any better. So I want you to leave behind that guilt and get over it! LOL

I’m going to say that communication with your loved one is going to be “key” in their journey through recovery. It is important that you can support them and help to give the guidance that they may need to get out of this situation. So I’m hoping your relationship with each other is strong. You need to talk to each other and your loved one needs to confide in you to be able to find the “root cause” of their addiction.

This isn’t going to be the case for every addict but there may have been bereavement in the family which may be a root cause of your loved ones addiction, so it is important to talk about this. Or it may be abuse, a bad upbringing, a relationship breakdown or a number of different reasons for an addiction but it must be spoken about in the correct manner and I suggest you read my book “Kick Ass Kick Addiction” before doing so and/or seek professional advice.